personal #2

this is a completely reasonable amount of books to take when moving one hundred & sixty miles up the country, right?

because i’m a hot mess who applied for accommodation on the last day of the deadline & sent off my financial declaration four months late, i’ve been landed in mary chapman house, infamous for its biodiverse insect culture & for looking like an abandoned hospital from the set of saw II. this will probably be completely irrelevant during freshers’ fortnight (who said that bacchanalian revelry must be confined to one week?), which i anticipate passing in a neon-blue haze of vodka dreams, punctuated occasionally by the pop of a paracetamol packet.

in this spirit, i have tickets to three parties over three days- a block party, a paint party (paint, slingshots), & a panda party wherein everybody dresses as pandas, does panda dances, & eats bamboo. i kept saying the bamboo part to people as a joke, & then i went on the website & discovered that they do, in fact, eat bamboo. ‘uea has always been a little different,’ begins the guardian’s review of the university.

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